Astrology is a fun thing. I personally don’t believe in it, but when I see a horoscope posted somewhere, I always do my investigation. If it is a good horoscope, I act as if I have won something; If it’s a bad horoscope, I remind myself that I don’t believe in that stuff and convince myself that I’m not afraid at all.
The whole concept is kind of weird. Depending on the time of your birth, the stars have given some sort of result on the events that happen in your life. Hopefully, the stars take into account the leap year, or else our calendar is going to be perfectly in sync with their calendar.
Well, it turns out that the time of year can actually impact your behavior. But it has less to do with the stars and more to do with the effects of environmental conditions affecting conception.
Why scientists are not doing this of course, but there are connections between certain seasons and certain behavior patterns. Actually, I don’t really know what they are talking about, because I’m not a scientist and don’t understand science.
From what I can gather, and this is probably wrong, scientists are saying that astrology is completely true. Based on this, here is how I influence each astrological symbol that affects each person’s love and sex life:
Aries (21 March – 19 April)
The symbol for the Aries sign is Rama. Pretty much says that it’s all about your sex life. We will ask you to calm it down, but that is not what Rama does. Not at all.
Taurus (20 April – 20 May)
Unless someone hoists a red flag at you, you are a glorious royal lover. Then you go crazy. You can’t explain it, there’s just something about it that makes you lose control.
Gemini (21 May – 20 June)
If you are a Gemini, otherwise known as twins, then you are super in three ways. It is a difficult life to manage, but if you can turn it off then you are doing great.
Cancer (21 June – 22 July)
When you say that you have been walking on the beach for a long time, you really mean it. You like to do everything – and we mean – on the beach. You also like to do this under the cover because they feel like a nice protective shell.
Leo (23 July – 22 August)
People have always called you the leader of the pack, and this is certainly true in the bedroom. The only problem is that most states will not legalize polygamy, so your options are extremely limited on where to live.
Virgo (23 August – 22 September)
The stars want you to be alone, apparently. The symbol of Virgo is Kumari. One way to see is to be pure. There is another way to see it, everyone else is lucky but you.
Libra (23 September – 22 October)
Your love life about balance. Just make sure you get a partner who is also in balance, as falling during the act can cause some seriously embarrassing injuries.
Scorpio (23 October – 21 November)
You look at sex like a victim. Which is not a good way to see sex. If you are a Scorpio zodiac, you can call the police and just give them ahead. Seriously, you are freaking everyone out.
Sagittarius (22 November – 21 December)
Taylor Swift is a Sagittarius sign, so you will obviously never find true love. However, it is the opposite that each heartbreak will work very well for you financially. So okay, in fact, people will get suspicious about how broken your heart really is.
Capricorn (22 December – 19 January)
You are a goat, which unfortunately refers to the animal and not the “greatest of all time”. Trash changes you for some strange reason but does so on a very steep hill. You are surprisingly skilled at balancing yourself in that situation.
Aquarius (January 20 – February 18)
You are the best ever and everyone wants to be with you. It says the stars perfectly! I am not just saying that because I am writing this and I am of an Aquarius.
Pisces (19 February – 20 March)
You are a fish You just keep it there and let the goods be with you. It is not bad, but it is not great; This is it.